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I struggle to tell people when I’m not doing well.
Instead I can end up overbooking because I’m convinced that by then I’ll be fine. I’m terrible at estimating healing.
@Patricia I'm in this toot and I don't like it.
You aren't the only optimist. 
I do the same thing - plan visits to family or friends (especially this Christmas!) and end up exhausting myself keeping the plans - and being exhausted for at least a week after.
It sucks - but some of the plans were worth a week of ugh - especially visiting with my niece and nephew! 
@Patricia Can relate, I didnt use to, now I do and found its the best way to silence a room, or site.
@Patricia I do too. Mostly, on reflection, because I typically find the response totally ineffective.
@Patricia this is really hard for me, too; I'd guess for a lot of people.
I sometimes tell people at work when life outside work is rough; but I underplay it, maybe hugely — "oh, things are a bit chaotic at home" is normally as far as I go, because I don't know how to convey any greater intensity but no details, which I do not wish to share. I can say if I've not slept well; that's something.
@Patricia It's complex also because I manage people, and I want them to feel safe about life happening and e.g. needing a mental health day off. But... part of that safety is my own stable & consistent calm; which means... yeah, more work to do here.
@robw same, though I might not be projecting what I’d like all the time… though I hope it’s good enough
@robw so yeah, more work needed here too 